Perfection

To achieve perfection takes trial and error.

If others are involved in your task, they may see your experimentation as indecision.

Ignore that gnawing urge to placate them for an easier life, and press on with your goal.

Only then, will you hope to attain something that you can be 85 – 90% satisfied with.

World to turn black and white as Cadbury begin global race to own colours

Apparently, Cadbury now own this colour.

Or, more accurately – Kraft Foods do. As they own Cadbury.

It’s Pantone 2685 c.

A particular shade of purple that they’ve been using on their Dairy Milk packaging for about 100 years.

Which means you and I are now forbidden to use it, lest we face the wrath of the Kraft legal team.

Who’s next?

Vodafone and red?

Lloyds and green?

Orange and, er… orange?

In a legal precedent, Kraft are allegedly filing a class action suit against Mother Nature for having the audacity to give birth to certain species of flower.

No more purple pansies by order of Kraft.

And, just in case you were thinking of redecorating your downstairs lavvy in that lovely shade of pale yellow, think again. As you’ll have Heinz Alphabetti Spaghetti lawyers battering down the door to your privy.

You can read the absurd article here:

http://www.designweek.co.uk/news/cadbury-wins-exclusive-use-of-pantone-2685c-purple/3035336.article

For what it’s worth, here’s my tuppence worth…

God help us if Newcastle Utd get in on the act.

Then we’ll all be up shit-creek. (Which, incidentally, is a particular shade of brown UPS have pats-pending on.)

Andy Warhol in the soup again

Campbell’s Soup are celebrating fifty years since Andy Warhol immortalised their can of tomato soup by bringing out a range of limited edition labels.

If you’re in The States you can pick up one of these collectibles for a paltry 75 cents. (Bet they’ll be going for a damn sight more than on Ebay in years to come.)

Campbell’s own design team, in collaboration with The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, created the cans which will be on sale later this month.

50 years of Campbell’s.

The original Tomato Soup can, 1962. By Andy Warhol.

Made from Beer

Just a quickie today.

A lovely little TVC for Carlton Draught.

Parodying a bank heist, it’s choc full of all the usual car chase clichés you’d find in a blockbuster.

Watch out for it at the awards festivals.

I’ll give it a coveted Cross of Iron for starters.

Great fun. I wish I’d done it.

Credits:
Clemenger BBDO, Melbourne
Creative Chairman: James McGrath
Executive Creative Director: Ant Keogh
Copywriter: Richard Williams
Art Director: Anthony Phillips
Executive Producer: Sonia von Bibra
Production Company: The Sweet Shop
Director: Steve Ayson
Production company Executive Producer – Wilf Sweetland
Production company Producer: Cindy Kavanagh
Cinematographer: Greig Fraser
Production Designer: Robbie Freed
Offline Editor: Jack Hutchings – The Butchery
Final Grade – Edel Rafferty – Method
Online Editor – Nicholas Ponzoni – Fin Design & Effects
Sound Design/Music arranger – Byron Scullin & Cornel Wilczek
Music Supervision – Karl Richter – Level Two Music
Music track – “Thunder in your Heart”
Planning Director: Michael Derepas
Planner: Sam Mackisack
Managing Partner: Paul McMillan
Account Director: Nick Cohen
Account Manager: Brendan Taylor

Carlton Draught
Chief Marketing Officer: Andy Gibson
General Manager of Marketing: Andrew Meldrum
Senior Brand Manager: Alastair McCausland
Assistant Brand Manager: Kirt Daunt
Assistant Brand Manager: Laura King

Mediacom
Media Agency: Mediacom
Director Client Communication Planning: Brett Elliot
Client Communication Planner: Michael Bradley

There is no cavalry couture is here!

I’m not much of a DIY person per se, but t’other day, I found myself pottering about in the shed* looking for a bottle of meths**, when I came across an old t-shirt that I’d been using as a fuse for a Molotov cocktail***.

Well, it put me in a mind to set up a There is no Cavalry fashion label.

The idea was to take everyday warnings that you might find on clothing, food, medicines or cleaning products, and apply them to humans.

Recently ordered colour variant.

Recently ordered colour variant.

Another courtesy of Mr Mannion.

© DMC

From a gag in Steve Martin’s classic movie – The Jerk

© DMC

© DMC

© DMC

© DMC

© DMC

© DMC

© DMC

Type detail. Lovingly kerned Gothic 821. 48/42pt.

Recently purchased colour variants.

© DMC

© DMC

You might not wear one or two of them to meet the in-laws. But they might just be a conversation starter in Ibiza.

If anyone would like one, drop me a line, and I’ll get you one made up.

Having looked at a few t-shirt printing websites, we’re probably looking in the region of £15 plus postage for a good quality one.

SIZES: XS – XXXXL

Available colours

Colours: Black, White, Navy Blue, Royal Blue, Red, Heather Grey, Sky Blue, Maroon, Yellow and Bottle Green.

Headlines are interchangeable on different coloured t-shirts. So if there’s a combo you want that isn’t here just let me know and I’ll do you your own version and email it to you for sign off before going to print.

Email me at: dmc@anidealworld.co.uk if you’re interested.

As orders are coming in thick and fast I’ve added a Paypal button. But please DON’T pay anything until you’ve contacted me by email. Just so we can confirm sizes, colours, destination etc. This is also because I don’t know what the additional postage charge will be until I come to send them off to you.

Cheers,

DMC.

Size guide

*I don’t have a shed.
**I don’t drink meths.
***I don’t make Molotov cocktails. (Well, not anymore.)

Pitching for Garbage.

I never watch fictional programmes about the ad industry.

They’re usually filled with more obnoxious caricatures than a Gerald Scarfe annual.

But I stumbled across a documentary / reality show on Sky Atlantic called ‘Pitch’.

The concept is very simple: A film crew follows two rival ad agencies round as they prepare to pitch for the same piece of business. They only have a week to conceive and produce the work, so the deadline is tighter than Janet Dickinson’s forehead.

It starts off with the two agencies getting a brief from the client. In this episode, a Waste Management company that turns garbage into renewable energy. And they tasked the agencies with raising awareness of this fact.

Nice brief. I’d like to work on it myself.

One agency was based in NY, called the Ad Store, run by Paul Cappelli, a seasoned veteran with a wheelbarrow full of awards. A small shop whose USP was creativity. The other agency was based in Vegas called SK+G whose main source of clients, surprisingly enough, came from the entertainment sector.

After much chewing of the cud, the Ad Store vet came up with a cracking idea:

Trash Can

What’s so great about that? I hear you cajole.

Well, when you put it with the creative executions it all becomes clear:

What can power a million homes?
Trash Can.

What can save 20 million barrels of oil a year?
Trash Can.

You can see that it has more legs than a LA model agency.

Love it. Very simple. Very clear and very memorable.

Next up, SK+G.

They had Joint Group Creative Directors, one of whom made it his mission to belittle his partner throughout the entire documentary. Not only that, he contradicted his creative partner’s presentation in front of the client.

He even took the opportunity to grass-up his partner to the MD when he’d nipped home to kiss his kids goodnight. (He hadn’t seen his kids all week and was actually coming back to the office.)

I have two kids. And I work in advertising. So I know what it’s like trying to juggle meeting client deadlines and trying to be a good father. Mr Hentges, (the nice GCD), came across as not only a diligent creative director, but a caring father too. Whereas his colleague came across as a self-obsessed, odious cliché.

If political rivalry in front of a client isn’t bad enough, the work was pretty mediocre too: Waste into Wow!

Did I say ‘mediocre’? I meant shit.

They did have some decent individual executions such as: This garbage truck runs on garbage. Very sweet. But the big idea – Waste is Wow. Well, it just isn’t ‘Wow’.

To me, it was a no-brainer. The Ad Store’s “Trash Can” was the clear winner.

After a brief sojourn, the client decided to award the business to SK+G for their Waste is Wow campaign.

Hang on, let me rewind that. Did you say SK+G?

As a creative, you always want to do the best work you possibly can. Not so you can decorate your book or take the long walk at the awards ceremonies, but because you think it’s right. Right for the brief and right for the client. You’re passionate about it.

But what you can’t legislate for, is a client mistaking a smart phone app for a big idea.

That’s just like saying the billboard is the idea rather that what goes inside it.

Still, it made for entertaining viewing. (For me anyway.)

If you’re in the ad industry you probably will too. The Pitch is on Sky Atlantic, Wednesdays at 8.00 p.m.

If you’re not in the ad industry, it will probably confirm your already preconceived notions of what a bunch of dicks ad people really are.

Right, I’m off to vacuum the stairs. Livin’ the dream, people. Livin’ the dream.

Why England won’t win the Euros

I wrote the exact same headline before the 2010 world cup. Except it said World Cup instead of Euros, of course.

http://thereisnocavalry.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/why-england-wont-win-the-world-cup/

I remember thinking when Capello was brought in, that if he couldn’t win the world cup with that squad of players then no one could.

Then I started getting a bit worried when our best goalkeeper, Joe Hart, couldn’t get in the team. On the plus side, it did make me realise I was a better manager than Fabio Capello. Which is nice.

I just hope Roy Hodgson doesn’t make the same mistakes as his predecessor and realises that he needs to make a fresh start.

Let’s rid our national team of these egotistical Premiership players who, quite frankly, are not nearly as good as they think they are.

The most encouraging England performance I have seen in many a year was our one nil victory over world and European champions, Spain.

Admittedly, any neutral, (or Spaniard), will quite rightly testify that England just put eleven men behind the ball and got a right footballing pummeling.

You don’t beat a team like Spain by playing football. They’ll annihilate you. You beat them by tactics. Or tic tacs. Whichever works best.

What I admired about the performance was that it featured quite a lot of lesser-known premiership players who played out of their skins. And, more importantly, for their shirt.

Players like: Phil Jones; Phil Jagielka; Joleon Lescott, (who was man-of-the-match by a long chalk); Scott Parker; Kyle Walker; Danny Wellbeck and Jack Rodwell.

The squad also featured the likes of: Milner; Adam Johnson; Leighton Baines; Gary Cahill and Daniel Sturridge.

Of course, some of the aforementioned players are more household names now than they were two years ago. But they’re still not dead-certs for a first team spot in the England team.

There’s been a lot of talk in the press about Hodgson trying to mend bridges between Terry and Ferdinand. Why?

Dump them. We have better centre backs in Jagielka, Lescott, Jones and Cahill. Contrary to what Terry and Rio might say to get a place in the squad, it will split the dressing room. It would be suicide to take them.

Ashley Cole may well be considered one of the best left backs in the world, but he’s a petulant, gun-toting imbecile who has the permanent expression of someone who’s just smelled something unpleasant. Get Leighton Baines in. (Who is deadly from a dead ball.) And Micah Richards has got to be the best right back in the Premiership this season.

Wayne Rooney may be the Premiership’s leading English striker, but do we want a player who is banned for the first two games and can be a temperamental liability if things aren’t going his way? Do you ever see Lionel Messi sulking like Rooney?

Most people were expecting Harry Redknapp to get the England job. And, I put Spurs’ recent dip in form down to the shambolic way in which the FA dealt with the sacking of Fabio Capello.

Of course, the media were partially responsible too. But perhaps they might not have been quite so definite in their predictions about the future England manager had the FA come out immediately and said they wouldn’t be talking to any possible replacements until the end of April.

Instead, they said nothing and let the whole circus gather momentum until it was almost plausible that Redknapp was already in charge.

This media spotlight had such a distracting and damaging effect on Spurs’ season that I wouldn’t blame them for suing the FA for loss of future revenue, should they not get into the Champions League.

Only time will tell whether Roy Hodgson was an inspired appointment. But, if I were him, I’d take a leaf out of Republic of Ireland’s Italia ’90 squad and pick a team rather than a group of individuals.

Ireland got to the quarter-finals that year by playing to their strengths. Greece won it in 2004. Did they have a squad of household names? Of course not. They played their game.

And we should play ours. We have some decent footballers but we can’t play football like Spain or Holland. We don’t have that kind of class.

But what these younger, lesser-known players have, is True Grit.

Could England win Euro 2012?

They might have a chance if Hodgson goes with the less fashionable and predictable names. After all, they have already beaten the world and European champions.

Unfortunately, I think Mr Hodgson will probably bow to public and media pressure and pick the same olds, same olds.

Take note, Roy, Capello didn’t listen to me and look what happened to him.

Here’s my team:

Attacking, isn’t it?

And here are my subs:

Okay, where’s Lampard, Gerrard and Rooney, I hear you ask. Well, they’ve had a go. And they’ve failed.

And, whilst Peter Crouch may play for unfashionable Stoke City, he has scored the goal of the season in the Premiership and continually pops them in for his country.

I haven’t included Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere because he’s out injured for the rest of the season. (Is that the case for Chelsea’s Gary Cahill?) If so, then Phil Jones would be my next choice.

And while we’re on the subject of local elections, Stuart Downing couldn’t put a cross in a ballot box let alone a penalty box. So don’t go there.

Good luck, Roy. I like the cut of your jib.

And please, media – will you stop making juvenile jokes about his speech impediment? It’s embarrassing. Do you really think so little of the English public that we think it’s funny?

Hmm, I know I’m being a bit of a ‘Tinkerman’, but I like the look of this team too.

The Antagonistic Protagonist

I was reading a rather excellent blog on ‘The roots determining the structure of your novel’, by Sara Toole Miller.

It talks about ‘left brain’ planning and ‘right brain’ writing. But before I’d made it halfway through the post, I had to pause to write a little poem.

So, thank you, Sara. It might not be an 80,000 word novel, but it’s a start.

THE ANTAGONISTIC PROTAGONIST

By David Milligan-Croft

I am the protagonist of my story.
(As you are in yours.)
But in my story,
What you have to decide,
Is whether you are an ally,
Or an antagonist.

Before you decide,
You should know that,
As it is my story,
Rest assured,
I shall prevail.

Anyone who knows me, might say I’m actually the Antagonist in, not only my own story, but theirs too!

Even if you’re not planning on writing a novel, but do enjoy writing, it’s good advice.

http://saratoolemiller.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/the-roots-determining-the-structure-of-your-novel-novel-writing-prep-series/

Republic of Scotland – Two Nations Divided

There’s been a lot of talk of late about a referendum on Scottish independence.

Let ‘em ‘ave it! is what I say.

By that, I don’t mean open up on ‘em with a battery of Gatling guns. I mean, it’s their country, it’s up to them.

If it was me, I’d vote yes.

Some people say it will result in England, Wales, NornIrn and Scotland having less muscle in Europe.

Is that what independence is about – political and economic might?

I thought it was about being able to determine your own destiny.

Being Free.

But it did get me thinking about England and the proverbial divide between north and south and whether it was time for a referendum on whether we should split the country in half.

Below is a rough border of where I think England should be divided.

North / Saarf divide

Then I was wondering about what we should call these two ‘new’ countries. And I couldn’t help getting my hackles up about when the glorious House of York was duped off the throne by that pesky Henry Tudor, (who was Welsh, by the way), and his turncoat ally, Lord Stanley.

So to redress the balance, and to give Yorkshire back its rightful inheritance, I thought this might be a suitable name for the new Motherland:

The Democratic Republic of Yorkshireland

Then I started to get a bit giddy. I don’t know if it was the power going to my head, or my formative years being filled with “Guess the pink bit” on the map of the world, but I thought this iteration was a marked improvement.

The Commonwealth of Yorkshireland

Of course, we’d need a new flag as well. I was thinking of something simple…

White Rose

Anyhoo, I think it’d be a great idea. So, I’m nominating myself as the inaugural President of Yorkshireland.

All those in favour say: Aye, ‘appen as mebby.

How’d you like 40 grand towards your debts?

Bail out the people, not the banks.

The govt has spent almost £1.2 trillion in bank bailouts. That includes money given, money lent, underwriting and subsidies. If you divide that by the number of UK people of working age (approx 30 million), that equates to around 40 grand each.

Yes. £40,000 big ones. Each.

Now, I don’t know about you, but mortgages aside, I’m sure forty grand would go a long way to clearing most people’s debts with a little bit leftover for injecting back into the economy in the way of purchasing power.

Obviously, banks would still get a huge percentage of this money, because it would be used to pay down debt.

Unfortunately, the banks don’t really want you to be debt free as that would lose them billions in extortionate interest rates.

However, there is something to smile about for the banks, because those who do have money left over might even be tempted to put it back into the banks either as investments or savings. Just not triple-A rated derivatives, thank you very much.

Alternatively, we can keep giving it to the banks to use on big, fat, juicy bonuses.

If you like the thought of this universal windfall, I’d appreciate it if you could take a minute to sign my #ResetTheDebt petition:

https://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/resetthedebt

Just pop your name and location in the box on the left hand side and share with as many people as possible. Thanks.