JAA – Tops £5K thanks to Sarah Jane…

Sarah Jane Robertson, Creative Director at Creative State not only kindly created two stunning haiku mandalas for the auction, in collaboration with haiku poets Alan Summers and Hidenori Hiruta, she also continued to sell them via her blog to raise another £400 for the Red Cross. Taking the new total to £5,160!

And, if you’re quick, I think she still has a few sets left, so click on the link to get yourself one before it’s too late. They really are a beautiful and unique set.

The only problem I have with this new figure is that, whilst it looks nicer than £4,660, it’s still a bit messy. So, with your help, I think we should try and get it up to £6,000! (And if you’re wondering what I’m on about, you’ll have to read the previous post!)

Sunshine Mandala, by Sarah Jane Robertson

Moonlight Mandala, by Sarah Jane Robertson

Sunshine Mandala, detail

Moonlight Mandala, detail

JAA – LAST CHANCE SALOON

I’m a little bit OCD.

I hate untidiness.

(To be honest, I don’t think OCD actually exists. I think the term was coined by slovenly sloths as a way of justifying their tardiness.)

But, as is my want, I am digressing…

What’s wrong with this number: £4,660?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it – it’s damned scruffy looking.

Now, look at this number: £5,000.

Doesn’t that look an awful lot tidier?

So, in the interest of placating my imaginary ‘condition’, let’s try and get that rather unruly looking number up by £340 to the magic £5k.

Here’s how you can do it:

There are a couple of things that didn’t quite make it to the exhibition on time, and a couple of other things that didn’t meet their reserve.

So now’s your chance, not only to snap up a fantastic work of art for a song, but most importantly, help the victims of the Japan tsunami.

The Gardener, by Jean Smith, USA

This arrived in today after being held up by customs. It’s approx 29 cm x 29 cm in a black frame. Beautifully simple woodcut screenprinted on textured paper. It was valued at $100 by customs, so any offers over that please!

Alex Telfer

This fabulous shot turned up a day late through no fault of Alex Telfer’s, but of a certain courier company.

Framed, it’s approx A2 in size, so the print is probably around A3. Any sensible bids? Baring in mind, most of the photography went for well over a hundred on the night.

Ring 3, Junko Mori

These rings by Junko Mori are about as unique as you’re ever going to get. They were cast from Australian plants and are made from solid silver! You’re not buying a ring, you’re buying a work of art.

We sold three on the night, but I can’t let these go for under one hundred pounds each. The trade price alone is £150. And remember, who’s going to benefit.

Ring 5, Junko Mori

Our Fragile Earth, by Lily Kenny and Katy Egan

‘Our Fragile Earth’ is a window decal made from resin and food colouring. I bet it looks amazing with sunlight shining through it. Come on, a 10 year old girl and her Mum have done their bit for the people of Japan.

There are a couple of more pieces still en route, so I’ll update as and when I get them.

JAA – Doumo Arigato…

…Which, I think translates as: Thank you very much, in Japanese.

The total is in and we raised a whopping £5,160!

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE WHO BOUGHT WHAT

It might not save the world, but it’s more than any of us could have donated on our own.

And maybe it will go some way to providing a bit of food and shelter for those who have lost absolutely everything.

So a massive, gargantuan, humongous, (and other ‘large’ superlatives), to everyone who helped put on a great night.

In particular, my heartfelt thanks go to Jonathan Oakes and his wife, Sandra. Not just for providing the gallery space, but also for getting a huge amount of this country’s best photographers to donate their work. (Oh, and for also providing the beer as, unfortunately, Kirin didn’t/couldn’t show up.)

My next thank you goes to Samantha Gore at Samsi Japanese Restaurant for providing us all with some delicious sushi. And for doing that jet-lagged after coming in from a long haul flight from The States.

Thank you to Damian Morgan, from The Brave Music Agency for asking Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke from The Smiths to open the exhibition.

Mike kicked off proceedings by auctioning off a snareskin drum, (courtesy of Johnny Roadhouse), which, if you’re a drummer, is a pretty fantastic way to get the gig bidding. He’s an absolute legend and deserves the mantle ‘star’ as that’s what he was: down-to-earth, funny, generous, self-effacing, and an all round lovely bloke. I can’t thank him enough for agreeing to come along and support the event.

Thank you to Helen Furnivall from The Red Cross who picked out the lucky raffle winners.

Thank you to all the artists from all over the world who very generously donated their work for the cause.

Thank you to all the people who couldn’t make it along on the night, but either bought raffle tickets, bid online or just donated money.

Thank you to my wife, Margaret, for all her help and support. And my brother and sister-in-law, Glynn and Sheila for helping on the night.

Thank you to all the people who came along and made it such a great night.

And lastly, to my daughter, Scarlett. Who, after overhearing her Mummy and Daddy talking about last night, disappeared upstairs, then came back a few moments later with the entire contents of her piggy bank and said: Daddy, can you give this to the people of Japan, please. I’d like them to have it.

Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, (mainly postal and courier ones), a few pieces of art didn’t make it on time. So when I do get them, I’ll post them online and maybe someone might want to buy them.

Here are few pics from the night courtesy of Jonathan Oakes.

Mike Joyce getting the auction going

Helen Furnivall from The Red Cross

Mike Joyce, yours truly and Andy Rourke

Doumo Arigato to everyone.

JAPAN ART AUCTION 07/04/11
Who bought what:

1. DAVID SHORT Svartifoss (Black Falls, Iceland) ROBERT WALKER
2. MICHAEL SWALLOW Manchester at Dusk
3. SIMON WINNALL Ugandan Gorilla VICTORIA – RMSPR
4. MICHAEL SWALLOW Scarlet Oak DAMIAN MORGAN
5. ROBERT WALKER Westwood FARRAH GUDGEON
6. ROBERT WALKER Yamamoto JONATHAN OAKES
7. GRAEME COOPER White Stag SANDRA OAKES
8. MIKE McGINN Untitled HEATHER TWEEDALE
9. JONATHAN OAKES Pete Postlethwaite M.S. BRUCE
10. STEPHEN WRIGHT The Smiths Donated by Mike Joyce HELEN FURNIVALL
11. LYNTON HEMSLEY Untitled SHEILA DALY
12. DAVID PORTER The Beatles STEPH (LEO KELLY)
13. SARAH PARRIS Tokyo Cityscape NICKY UNSWORTH BJL
14. PAUL FOSBURY Lost Carriage MOLLY COCKCROFT
15. CAROLYN WALSH Untitled STUART MCNEILL
16. MARTIN O’NEILL Joy Division AL KAY
17. NICK & CHLOE Lord of the Dust WAYNE STOUT
18. SELINA YUK TZANG PAN Think Small GRAHAM HOYLE
19, 20, 21, WILHELM SCHOLZ / DES BARZEY Blood Sample PATRICK CHAPMAN
22, 23, WILHELM SCHOLZ / DES BARZEY Fingerprint MARKHAM SMITH
24. LOU HUGHES Untitled VICTORIA RMSPR
25. PAUL MOFFAT, Frazer Island CHRIS PETCH
26, 27, 28, AIDAN DOWLING Three ‘Private Eye’ cartoons JOE COLEMAN
29. GRACE MILLS Lotus Flower. MOLLY COCKCROFT
30. DAVID MILLIGAN-CROFT Poem for Japan GRAEME COOPER
31. NICOLA DAVID Moroccan water seller MARKHAM SMITH
32. JOHN SHELLEY Maruzen Star MIKE WILLIG
33. PATRICK GOODWIN Untitled HELEN FURNIVALL
34. FISHINK, Untitled SELINA YUK TZUNG PAN
35. ROBERTA MASCIARELLI Winter 11/11 GRAHAM HOYLE
36. RACHAEL WILLIAMS Untitled GRAEME COOPER
37. OONAGH YOUNG Kortula, Croatia SALLY LEONARD
38. MOLLY COCKCROFT, Imaginary City MARKHAM SMITH
39. ELLA GRIFFIN Signed novel and inclusion in next novel PETE BASTIMAN
40. JOE COLEMAN In case of Fire VICKI COCKCROFT
41. PATRICK CHAPMAN Signed collected works of poetry and original hand written poem HELEN FURNIVALL
42. TONE VON KROGH Three Ceramic bottles ROBERT WALKER
43. MARI-RUTH ODA A Space Inbetween PAUL FOSBURY
44. MARI-RUTH ODA Bony Holes ROBERT WALKER
45. DAMEON LYNN Ceramic bowl RICHARD TWEEDALE
46. PRUE BIDDLE Silver Bangle FERGUS MCCALLUM
47. JUNKO MORI RING 1 MARI-RUTH ODA
48. JUNKO MORI RING 2 TONE VON KROGH
49. JUNKO MORI RING 3 UNSOLD
50. JUNKO MORI RING 4 OONAGH YOUNG
51. JUNKO MORI RING 5 UNSOLD
52. MAGGIE GIBSON Japan LEO KELLY
53. CRAIG HEBDITCH Broken land, unbroken spirit SARAH JANE ROBERTSON
54. SARAH JANE ROBERTSON Sunshine Mandala MARI-RUTH ODA
55. SARAH JANE ROBERTSON Moonlight Mandala MARI-RUTH ODA
56. MIKE JOYCE Signed Snareskin drum SALLY LEONARD
57. MIKE JOYCE Signed drumsticks drum skin ALEX KAY
58. ANDY GALLACHER Portrait MIKE JOYCE
59. TIM HETHERINGTON Surfer CHRIS WOOD
60. DEBORAH SCHENCK Polaroid transfer JONATHAN OAKES
61. PAUL WOLFGANG WEBSTER Brian Cox MOLLY COCKCROFT
62. JAMES O’CONNELL Newton’s Cradle STUART MCNEILL
63. SHANE HOLLOHAN Margaret Daly
64. KATY & LILY EGAN Unsold
65. JEAN SMITH Gardener Unsold (Not present at auction)
66. KELVIN HUDSON Butterflies (Not present at auction)
67. ALEX TELFER Unsold (Not present at auction)

More pics, from Molly Cockcroft

Three ceramic bottles by Tone von Krogh

Mike Joyce

The missus

By Joe Coleman

Mike Joyce signing a snare skin

Mike Joyce, Helen Furnivall (Red Cross), Andy Rourke

The band reforming

Mari-Ruth Oda (foreground), Sarah Parris

Margaret and an auld fella

Legalised loan sharking?

While watching telly the other day – or, research, as I call it, I saw an ad for a loan company whose APR was just shy of 2700%. Yes, 2700%. I couldn’t believe it either. Why would anybody in their right mind borrow from such a company?

Probably someone who is desperate for cash and has nowhere else to turn.

Now, the reason I’m not going to mention the company’s name is because I remember Stelios, The Easy Jet boss, asking Branson whether he should allow his company to be used as the basis for the documentary series ‘Airline’ as it might have a detrimental effect on his company. Apparently, Branson advised him to go ahead on the basis that no publicity was bad publicity.

So, with that in mind, I am no going to dignify the afore-un-mentioned company with any free advertising. (Plus I don’t want to get my arse sued off.) That said, I don’t think it would be too difficult to find un-said company if you really wanted to.

Intrigued, I checked out their website to see why the APR was so astronomical. They have an entire section dedicated to explaining how unfair the APR system is in relation to their revolutionary new model.

Basically, APR is calculated over the period of a year. While this company’s loans are calculated to be paid back between 1 – 48 days so the APR model is outdated. Seems a reasonable argument. Except when you do a quick online quote. The maximum you can borrow is 400 quid. Over 48 days it would set you back £597.47.

I don’t know about you, but 200 quid interest for six weeks seems pretty high.

I suspect that if you couldn’t manage to pay off that amount within the 48 days and had to negotiate a longer term the quoted APR rate could come into place. And if you couldn’t pay off 2700%, I imagine something, or someone else might come into place. Into your place with a removal van.

Has the recession struck so hard that desperate people would turn to such organisations for a quick fix? I presume so, otherwise it wouldn’t exist. The point is, should it be allowed to offer such a product? If not, where would people get the money from? I don’t have the answer, but I am alarmed that such companies exist.

Should the ConDems be putting pressure on the high street banks to be more flexible in lending money in these dark times? We bailed them out, isn’t it about time they bailed out the people on the brink of poverty?

England to dissolve national team

News just in:

After England’s trouncing at the hands of our Royal Family’s ancestors, the FA have decided to dissolve the England team so the English public do not have to suffer the abject humiliation and embarrassment we have had to endure ever again.

The FA is changing tack and becoming a sofa retailer, Capello is going back to his previous job selling fruit and veg in a Napoli market, and the entire England squad have applied for South African citizenship rather than bother coming back to Blighty.

It is my sincere hope that virtually all of the  culprits of the 2010 debacle hang up their jerseys and pledge to retire from international football as they patently lack the guile and creativity to perform at this level.

The quality of the Premier league is frequently talked about as being the best in the world. If this is so, it is clearly as a result of the amount of foreign players plying their trade over here and nothing to do with the ragtag bunch of inept, lazy and cowardly cretins that represented our nation. The very least they should do is man for man apologise to the nation.

Our only hope is to send all our first born sons from here on in to South America to learn how to play the beautiful game. Once they have mastered the arts of: passing, shooting, tackling, controlling the ball in less than two touches, crossing the ball, heading and saving the ball, they may come home and pull on an England jersey.

On a positive note, I thought Germany were fantastic and completely played us off the park. Irrespective of whether Frank Lampard’s goal had been given, Germany were the worthy winners having done something our boys failed so dismally to do – play football.

Out of the 23 man squad here are the ones who should sleep with the fishes:

ROBERT GREEN

DAVID JAMES

JAMIE CARRAGHER

ASHLEY COLE

GLEN JOHNSON

MATTHEW UPSON

JOHN TERRY

GARETH BARRY

STEVEN GERRARD

FRANK LAMPARD

AARON LENNON

EMILE HESKEY

WAYNE ROONEY

JERMAINE DEFOE

FABIO CAPELLO

And here are the ones who can sleep with whoever they want.

JOE HART

MICHAEL DAWSON

LEDLEY KING

STEPHEN WARNOCK

MICHAEL CARRICK

JAMES MILNER

JOE COLE

SWP

PETER CROUCH

Why England won’t win the world cup

The short answer is: we’re not good enough.

And before you cry ‘treason/negativity/pessimism’, don’t confuse my opinions with my hopes. Of course, I’d love England to win the world cup. But rather than being labeled a pessimist, I’d rather be called a realist.

Shortly before the Champions League final ‘The Chosen One’ stated that the Champions League final was a better standard than the world cup final. His substantiation for this was that on a club level, if you’ve got a hole in your squad you can buy someone to fill it. Whereas, at international level, you’re stuck with what your country produces.

This begged the question: So, José, do you think Inter Milan would beat England? Judging by England’s performance against Japan (ranked 45th in the world by FIFA), Inter Flora would beat England.

So what reasons do I proffer to bolster my case for an imminent return to Blighty?

Reason # 1 GOALKEEPER

Our best goalkeeper, Joe Hart, can’t get in the team. Our first choice plays for a club that got relegated. Our other first choice(?), Rob Green plays for a team that almost got relegated. Hart’s team, Birmingham finished highest in the league and he is loaned out to Brum from Manchester City. If he was playing for City would he be first choice? Difficult I know to get in the City team when the current first choice is Shay Given, who would probably get in a World XI.

Reason # 2 DEFENCE

We can’t defend set pieces. Ferdinand has hardly played this/last season and is prone to injury.

Reason # 3 WINGERS

Our wingers can’t cross the ball. Lennon, Walcott, Wright-Philips, don’t seem to be able to do one of the most fundamental skills that a winger should be able to do. Even I can cross a ball and I’m crap at football. Seriously lads, if you’d like me to show you how to do it before you head off for SA, I’d be more than happy. You simply use the inside of your right foot just around where the big toes joins your foot (If wanting to do an in-swinger from the right) at the bottom right hand side of the ball. It’s easy.

If it was just about being able to run fast in a straight line we’d be better off with Usain Bolt. Whilst not as quick as the aforementioned wingers, I’d prefer to see Joe Cole and James Milner out wide as they not only can cross the ball, but they have better skill on the ball.

Reason # 4 STRIKERS

We’ve only got one. And if he gets injured we’re royally F****D.(And I’m not talking about Heskey who probably wouldn’t get a game for Inter Flora.)

Reason # 5 ASHLEY COLE

Why? He’s a big knob. And I’m not referring to his appendage. Okay, I know this isn’t a rational reason for England not winning the world cup, but does he irritate anyone else out there? He’s infantile, arrogant, petulant and, and, a knob!

Reason # 6 RANKING

England are ranked 8th in the world. We haven’t beaten any of the teams ranked above of us. In fact, we were beaten by Brazil, Spain, France and scraped a draw against Holland.

We were beaten by the Ukraine (ranked 23rd). In our group, USA are ranked 14th and beat Spain recently. Slovenia (ranked 25th) and Algeria ranked 3oth. I do expect us to qualify from the group, but the fact is, we actually haven’t beaten anyone that’s any good.

For what it’s worth, this would be my England selection from what we have available. I do hope we do well, I’m just not expecting it, like so many of our media pundits. Unfortunately, the only thing ‘coming home’ will be England.

C’mon En-ger-land!

England world cup winning team 2010

Today’s haiku

Driving, or rather, stuck in traffic, in 83ºF heat. A haiku sprang to mind.

Dandelion clock

Floats in through my car window,

A breath, and it’s gone.

Recession proof

It’s no secret that the car industry has taken a bit of a hammering in this recession. Understandably, consumers are holding onto any money they might have in case the worst happens on the job front. There are those, however, who do have a bit of disposable income to splash about. So how do we convince them to spend it with us? Tackle the recession head on. If you’re going to buy a car in a recession, you should at least consider one that’s recession proof. Here’s one I did for VW.

Credits:

Agency: DDB Dublin

Creative Director: Declan Hogan

Concept: David Milligan-Croft

Copywriter: David Milligan-Croft

Art Director: David Milligan-Croft

Client: MDL Ireland

Vote in the Wall

In an earlier post, I drew attention to a competition to redesign the electoral system. I came up with an idea to use the hole in the wall machines. Well, here it is. You can check out the results of the competition at: www.commonofhouses.co.uk

You only get out what you put in…

…Or why it’s important to read poetry, literature, look at art, look at nature, look at tabloids, look at broadsheets, drink in society – all of it. Because, if you’re a designer, art director, writer, film maker, artist or musician, you only get out what you put in.

This brilliant ad for the Independent newspaper features a poem by John Cooper Clarke. My point is, what came first, the ad or the poem? I doubt that the creative team who conceived this ad would have done so had they not been aware of: a) poetry, and b) John Cooper Clarke.

Cooper Clarke was nicknamed the Punk Poet Extraordinaire. And that’s what he was. Irreverent, funny, political, satirical. Perfect for an independent thinking newspaper.

Unfortunately, I can find the credits for the creators, so if anyone can shed any light on it, I’ll gladly up date it.