CONCIERGE: Good evening, may I see your invitation?
Hmm, we don’t appear to have you on the list.
Ah, here it is, number 194 – Palestine?
New here, are you?
Do you have err…
…it’s, ahem, customary to bring a gift.
You know, as a gesture of good will.
Call it a donation for joining the “club”.
Oh, I don’t know, anything.
Do you have any oil?
Oil’s usually a good opening gambit. Great for a gaining an ally or two. I could do you a U.S. aircraft carrier if you’ve got any lying about the place.
I see. No matter.
Gold? Gold always goes down well with our American friends. They do love a bit of bling. I can get you a convoy of Humvees for a goldmine?
How about minerals? Cassiterite? Wolframite? Coltan? For some Apache attack helicopters.
Just a few AK-47s and some novelty shemaghs, with… wait, what’s this? Ooh, look – a cutesy little picture of Yasser Arafat saying “In your face Israel.”
I suppose they’ll have to do. Put them over there next to those Syrian RPGs.
Just keep quiet and take a seat at the back, next to Egypt and Libya.
…ahh, the Democratic Republic of Congo. Usual table, Sir?