We all have to die of something.

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You wouldn’t criticise someone of being selfish if they died of cancer or heart disease.

So, why call someone selfish if they commit suicide?

The person doesn’t kill themself of cancer. Just like a person who commits suicide does not kill themself.

Depression kills them.

Do you think the person you know and love wants to leave those s/he knows and loves? To cause them pain and sorrow beyond measure.

Imagine that person in happier times. When they felt normal. Happy even. Do you think they would consider it then? Of course not. It’s pretty absurd to even think it.

How dark must it be in the mind of someone who wants to commit suicide for them to consider it a viable option to ease their suffering?

I am writing this to hopefully help destigmatise mental illness. And also to encourage people who are suffering to try and speak up and ask for help. Whether that be to a friend or family member, your GP or community mental health care unit. (Yes, they have them.) Suicide is the biggest killer of men in the UK under the age of 45.

And also to ask people who don’t suffer from mental illness to try and be a bit more understanding. If you think someone you know is suffering from depression, or at risk of suicide, ask them if there’s anything you can do to help. But, please don’t tell them to pull their socks up and get on with it. They’ll probably back off sharper than a hermit crab.

A person who commits suicide isn’t trying to hurt you. They are trying to stop their pain. To stop the disease in their brain.

If you need help try these links. And remember, if things get so bad and you can’t wait, go to A&E they will treat you just like any other patient and get you the care you need.

Mind

Samaritans

NHS

ARC (Local to Stockport only)

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14 Comments

Filed under Art, community, Disability, Education, mental health, Uncategorized

14 responses to “We all have to die of something.

  1. Some quite powerful quotes there. It should also be said that you will be missed. There’ll be a big gaping hole where you once were that noone can fill.

  2. Thank you for this post on suicide and depression. People who call it selfishness have no clue what a dark place depression is. It is a cancer of mind, and all depends on specifics of this disease. In some cases it wins, and no judgment is appropriate.

  3. Hello David. Long time no post. How are you?

    • Hi OA, not great. Been in hospital this past week. Pancreatitis they think. Couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to write a post. I shall when I think I have something to say. Hope you are well.

      • Oh dear. From never knowing anything about this, you are now possibly the second person I’ve come across with problems recently. They are being treated with steroids I think. Well, get well soon and I hope you are not in hospital much longer. OA

  4. A very good post. I would love if you could check out my blog. 💛

  5. Anonymous

    A great post Dave, I had a colleague in Scotland that I used to teach yoga with, we worked together at the same center. He clearly had some issues but then don’t we all. Used to hang out on summer days in the garden drinking wine and having really good chats…conspiracy theory and all that. I moved to Denmark and then some years later got a message in my inbox that he had killed himself. It was a real shock, I knew him. He’d broken up with his girlfriend, moved to London, got another girlfriend, broke up with her and was very alone. He ordered an ‘exit’ bag from the internet, bought a bottle of whiskey, drank half of it and then slipped the bag over his head. I often thought what must it be like in someone’s mind to do it, to really do it. I’ve had dark periods myself, when my yoga centre closed and my relationship broke up, very dark. At one point there was a strangeness over everything, as though things were not quite real, as though something had changed and I wasn’t me. A friend was very supportive and she said if I could still feel things then it was kind of ok (in a not ok way!) She said it was when people go numb that it gets really dangerous, because that’s when you jump off the bridge, or put the bag over your head. Thankfully things are better now, but no-one is immune to it, even if everything’s cool and we think we are. Good friends and support are vital. Thanks for your post Jackie!!!

    • Sorry for taking so long to reply, Mike. Only just got my laptop back. Thanks for your heartwrenching anecdote. I can identify with a lot of it too. When I am not in a dark place, I often look back at that person who was in one and think, ‘Who was that person?’ I don’t recognise that man. It’s quite scary.

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