Tag Archives: economy

Dear EU, a love letter to Europe.


Dear EU,

I am so sorry, I have some bad news. It’s not you. It’s not even me – It’s them!

And, by ‘them’, I mean the 52% who voted to leave the European Union.

I guess they’ll say I’m just a sore loser and that democracy won the day. But it’s hard to see it as democracy when their decision making was based on a litany of untruths and fear.

You see, I was one of the 48% that wanted to stay with you, because I love you. I’m a complete Europhile. I love your rich, colourful, cultural diversity. I also love the fact that we can come and go as we please. Not just for holidays, but for work or to study.

And it’s that cultural diversity that leads to understanding, respect, tolerance and unity.

The world needs fewer borders, not more.

Sure, it’s not always been plain sailing and we’ve had our ups and downs. But I think we’ve had more ups than downs over the years, don’t you think? You’ve let us keep our own currency and border controls. And you’ve made the prices of things much cheaper. And made sure workers’ rights have been protected.

You’ve been very kind and patient with us these past few months while we’ve tried to make up our minds whether or not to dump you.

The problem was, the Vote Leave campaign told so many whopping big lies about the economy and immigration that they managed to get 52% of people to believe them.

Only this morning have they reneged on one promise to spend £350 million pounds a week on the NHS! I bet the Vote Leavers feel like a right bunch of suckers right now.

I have to be honest, and say that the Vote Remain campaign didn’t cover itself in glory either.

A lot of folks over here are saying that the people who voted leave are ‘stupid’. But they’re not, are they? They were just lied to on a monumental scale. The fact is, the Vote Leave campaigners played on people’s fears. They managed to convince them that all the problems we’ve been having these past few years are the fault of the EU and immigrants rather than the financial crash of 2008 and Tory austerity measures.

Unfortunately, they’ll soon find out that they were spoon fed a pack of lies.

The other big problem is that a lot of people in England are becoming ever more racist. They don’t want you ‘foreigners’ coming to our country and nicking our jobs and sponging off our welfare system.

But you don’t do that, do you? You create £6 billion worth of wealth for the UK economy. And withdraw a paltry few hundred million in welfare by comparison.

All the clever people wanted us to stay with you. People like Stephen Hawking, Richard Branson, Lord Sugar and Posh & Becks. (Maybe we should have got someone from the Big Brother house or Geordie Shore to be a spokesperson instead.) Whereas, all the right-wing scaremongers such as Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Katie Hopkins wanted us to leave. And, because people are becoming more and more right wing, they believed in the harbingers of fear, hate, division and intolerance.

Maybe there is a way for us to stay together. Me and you, that is. Not Britain, it’s too late for that. And, the irony is, the ‘Great Britain’ Vote Leavers so desperately coveted will probably lead to it being dismantled. (Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remain with you.)

Poor-little-England will have to take on the world single-handed. It’ll build a grand new fleet of galleons made from the finest spruce and oak. England shall once again, rule the waves, sail the seven seas and plunder, rape and subjugate all in its path!

Until, it sinks and drowns.

We’re not all racist, nationalistic, xenophobic, imperialistic, unrealistic, gullible Luddites, you know.

I still love EU. And I always will.

Yours,

David.

P.S. Can I please come and live with you?

 

 

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An impartial guide to the 2015 election.


If you live in Blighty you’ve probably been bombarded by Party Political Broadcasts and news media about the various main players in the upcoming General Election.

Blogs are a great way to get one’s personal views across, but rather than expound my own views, I thought I’d give you lucky readers an impartial look at what these nefarious Tory miscreants have achieved thus far. (Told you it would be impartial.)

FOODBANKS

The number of people using food banks has gone from circa 40,000 under Labour in 2010 to one million under the Tories, in just five years. (This graph is about a year out of date. Figures have now surpassed one million.)

foodbanks, election 2015

DEBT

Our National Debt has not reduced as the Tory charlatans claim but has, in fact, tripled under the Tories.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 20.50.08

 

IMMIGRATION

Britain has one of the lowest immigrant populations in Europe. The more the merrier I say. We’re all from Africa anyway.

Brits living abroad

Brits living abroad

Foreigners living in the UK

Foreigners living in the UK

BENEFITS

I’m sick to death of that maleficent rapscallion, Iain Duncan Smith referring to people on benefits as scroungers.

Benefit cheats account for £2 billion whilst tax avoiders account for £32 billion.

Screen Shot 2015-04-20 at 12.39.23

 

And let’s not forget, for most people claiming benefits, they are just claiming back a fraction of what they have put into it in the first place.

Screen Shot 2015-04-10 at 20.37.14

 

LABOUR AND BIG BUSINESS

Read ’em and weep.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 20.51.20

THE GREAT DEPRESSION

The current economic catastrophe was not caused by the last Labour government. It was caused by the banks. Admittedly, Labour deregulated the banks more than they should have. But financial deregulation began in 1986 under, guess who… Thatcher.

econ-lies

 

THE NHS

Don’t get me started… 70% of NHS contracts have been awarded to private sector companies since 2013. (Most of them with connections to ConDem politicians.)

NHS-privatisation-300x245

EDUCATION

Did you know, as part of the government curriculum, primary school kids do maths every day but art only once every two weeks?

Obviously, there’s no value in the arts.

No value in creativity.

No value in imagination.

No value in self-expression.

And there’s certainly no maths in art… no fractals, no Fibonacci sequence, no Golden Ratio, no geometry, no equations, no dimensions, no fractions, no angles or shapes…

That’s not a criticism of my daughters’ school, in fact, it recently got an outstanding from OFSTED, it’s merely a criticism of the curriculum handed down by the government.

I’d also have free tertiary education for all too. (Something which Labour have not put in their manifesto.)

wd950112

So, dear readers, as you can see, I have no personal axe to grind and have been as unbiased as I possibly can.

To recap:

Under the coalition the economy has stagnated,

the national debt has tripled,

the NHS is in meltdown,

1 million people rely on food banks,

3.5 million children live in poverty (that’s a staggering third of all children in the UK),

The Tories believe the people who should pay for our country’s debts are the poor rather than their rich benefactors to whom they give tax breaks and government contracts.

All-in-all, a successful term of office, don’t you think?

All you can do is evaluate the facts laid before you and then decide who to vote for. After all, that’s why we live in a democracy.

Just remember, a vote for the Tories is a vote for the Dark Lord. And a vote for UKIP is a vote for the Dark Lord’s imbecile sibling with xenophobic tendencies.

CBnKInvVIAA1XpM.png-large

I must give a shout-out to a few blogs from where I’ve filched most of the above stats, graphs and images. Although, I can’t remember what I’ve nicked from where.

So thank you to:

Tom Pride at Pride’s Purge.

Kitty S. Jones at Politics and Insights.

David Hencke at David Hencke.

Mike Sivier at Vox Political.

Thomas G. Clark at Another Angry Voice.

The Guardian.

The Independent.

Channel 4.

 

If you see something of yours that I have not credited just drop me a line and I’ll amend the post and give you the credit you deserve.

 

 

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Democracy – #358-363


Democracy was first invented in Yorkshire, in 1954, after three blokes, on a lads’ night out in Pontefract, couldn’t decide whether to have mild or bitter with their giant Yorkshire pudding and onion gravy. Instead of settling their differences the old-fashioned way – with a black pudding fight to the death – as was custom round those parts; they decided on a new, and novel way, to solve their dilemma: They put it to a vote, and lo, democracy was borne. (2-1 to bitter, in case you were wondering.)

Cleisthenes

Cleisthenes

Actually, democracy is attributed to Cleisthenes in Athens in about 500 B.C. (There is also some evidence that certain types of democracy existed in parts of India prior to this.)

There are loads of different types of democracy, but the two main types are: Direct Democracy358, whereby everybody who has a vote actively participates in governing. This is what Greek democracy was all about. It’s not too bad when you only have a limited number of people who can actually vote, i.e. Athenian citizens, so – no slaves, no women, no foreigners etc. It gets a bit tricky when you have 30 million potential citizens eligible to vote. That’s why Representational Democracy359 was invented, whereby we elect people to govern for us. (Sort of like we have now in the UK, except we have a Constitutional Monarchy, which isn’t a true democracy.)

article_12328

If it wasn’t for democracy, plebs like me wouldn’t have a vote. In fact, if the Tories had their way, I still wouldn’t. Which brings me on to the Labour Party360. If it wasn’t for Labour, we wouldn’t have a National Health Service to look after our citizens361 or a Welfare State362 to care for the poor and the vulnerable in society.

But… we don’t have real democracy in Britain. When you can obtain power by having less than 30% of the vote – that is not true democracy. Personally, I favour Proportional Representation363. Seems much fairer to me. Over 70% of the population didn’t vote for these nefarious Tory scoundrels. That should be testament enough.

The Tories are selling off the NHS. They’ve ostracized anyone on benefits and they’ve made a shambles of the economy by feeding the richest 1% rather than the 99% who would actually kick-start the economic recovery.

True, there are benefit fraudsters. Apparently, they cost us £1.9 billion pounds a year. How much do corporate tax fraudsters cost us? £32 billion is the answer. Go and arrest your mates, Mr. Osborne.

Here are the numbers IDS and Osborne would prefer you didn’t see:

Benefit fraud: £1.9 bn.

Unclaimed benefits: £12.3 bn.

Benefit fraud accounts for 0.7% of the total benefits budget.

Put this into context next to the £32 bn in tax evasion and avoidance.

The last time the Tories were in charge.

The last time the Tories were in charge.

The fact is, George Osborne has got the economy completely arseways. The best way to reinvigorate an economy is to make sure the people in the middle and at the bottom have some money to spend. In his wisdom, Osborne decided to give the money to the people who lost it in the first place and take it off those very people who could turn the country’s fortunes around.

That said, I’m just grumpy because I didn’t get my way. Which, I suppose, is what democracy is all about.

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The ‘alternative’ George Osborne speech.


The Chancellor, George Osborne.

The Chancellor, George Osborne.

NSFW or kids.

In today’s Autumn Statement, Chancellor George Osborne has [allegedly] admitted that he’s made a ‘right, royal cock-up of the economy’. In a speech to the House of Commons, Osborne [allegedly] said that he ‘couldn’t give a rat’s ass’ about the consequences, as it would only affect snivelling little poor people anyway.

‘I’m not arsed what these scroungers think,’ he [allegedly] said. ‘I’m fucking minted! And they’re hardly going to contribute to the coffers in my retirement. It’s the bankers and top business people I need to keep sweet if they’re going to pay for my mansion in Cheshire. That’s why they’re getting all the tax breaks. And who’s going to pay for it? Why, the poor of course. It’d be tragic if it wasn’t so fucking ironic.

‘I saw this great documentary the other day called, “The Hunger Games”, and I thought we could introduce something similar over here, where dole dossers and people on minimum wage have to battle it out for grub. Last family standing gets first dabs at the Foodbank. Besides, there’s too many of the fuckers, and none of them vote for us, so it’s a win-win.

‘And don’t get me started on the ‘bedroom tax’. I can’t believe anyone fell for that bollocks. We’re thinking of introducing a ‘bathroom tax’. Those dirty bastards never wash anyway.’

Asked why Britain’s deficit was growing rather than shrinking, Osborne [allegedly] said, ‘Shut the fuck up, you plank. Those fuckwit voters haven’t noticed that the economy is stagnant and that austerity measures have utterly failed to reduce the deficit or kick-start the economy. People are more skint now than they were when we took office. Well, except for me and my rich mates, of course. We’re fecking coining it in.’

When quizzed about the reduction in unemployment figures, he gave a wry grin and [allegedly] said, ‘IDS has played a blinder there. He basically gets people off Jobseekers by getting Atos to register them as self-employed. They still sit around all day doing fuck-all but they get Working Tax Credits instead of JSA. It’s great for the stats.

‘But there’s always the parasites who say they’re too sick to look for work. IDS just sends them back anyway. If they don’t go, he slashes their benefits in half. One bloke he’d kicked off sick benefits had the audacity to get his missus to ring up and say he was dead. Fucking dead! Can you believe it? Sheesh, some people will do anything to get out of work. IDS must be doing something right though, even the bankers think he’s a heartless twat.’

‘Right then, piss off, I’m late for a champagne breakfast with Merrill Lynch.’

Of course, this is all hearsay and has yet to be confirmed by official sources. Our chief reporter has it on good authority that it was said by some blood-sucking turd, who was seen draining the life out of a pensioner, and we just put two and two together.

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How’d you like 40 grand towards your debts?


Bail out the people, not the banks.

The govt has spent almost £1.2 trillion in bank bailouts. That includes money given, money lent, underwriting and subsidies. If you divide that by the number of UK people of working age (approx 30 million), that equates to around 40 grand each.

Yes. £40,000 big ones. Each.

Now, I don’t know about you, but mortgages aside, I’m sure forty grand would go a long way to clearing most people’s debts with a little bit leftover for injecting back into the economy in the way of purchasing power.

Obviously, banks would still get a huge percentage of this money, because it would be used to pay down debt.

Unfortunately, the banks don’t really want you to be debt free as that would lose them billions in extortionate interest rates.

However, there is something to smile about for the banks, because those who do have money left over might even be tempted to put it back into the banks either as investments or savings. Just not triple-A rated derivatives, thank you very much.

Alternatively, we can keep giving it to the banks to use on big, fat, juicy bonuses.

If you like the thought of this universal windfall, I’d appreciate it if you could take a minute to sign my #ResetTheDebt petition:

https://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/resetthedebt

Just pop your name and location in the box on the left hand side and share with as many people as possible. Thanks.

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Reset the Debt – Global Economist agrees with Batley lad.


A few months ago now, I came up with a rather radical idea to get us out of this financial pickle we’ve found ourselves in.

That idea was catchily called: Reset the Debt.

(I know, I know, I should get paid for this sort of stuff.)

Anyways, it wasn’t just a catchy slogan, the idea was to reset everybody’s debts to zero so we can start spending again. Yippee!

A bit like winding back the milometer on your car. Not that I’ve ever done that, you understand.

I posted it on TED and got pilloried for it as being economically naive. I might not be a global economist, but I am in the business of coming up with ideas to solve business problems.

And most radical ideas can be a bit frightening.

Well now, (he says, blowing onto his fingernails and polishing them on his lapel), Steve Keen is a global economist, and he’s advocating exactly the same thing.

Basically, the reason people aren’t spending is because they’re paying off their debts.

The government is giving money to the banks who aren’t passing it on to their customers. Presumably because they don’t want oiks like us getting into even more debt. They’d rather give it to their employees in the form of big fat tax free bonuses.

Mr Keen’s point is: Get the government to invest the money by paying off its citizens’ debts to kick-start the economy. [Obviously measures would have to be put in place to prevent people from getting back into debt and living within their means.]

The economy won’t grow if people don’t buy anything.

Otherwise, Mr Keen argues, the way the government is handling the Great Depression at the moment, it could take us 20 years to get out of it.

Who’d a thunk it? A Batley lad solving the world’s economic crisis.

Reset the Debt. I can see the placards now!

Hang on a sec. Just let me stick one of them © thingys on it.

Reset the Debt!©

Economist Steve Keen, Hardtalk

Economist Steve Keen on Hardtalk.

I’ve decided to set up an e-petition to garner some support for this idea. I need 100k signatures to get the Govt to discuss it in the House of Commons. If you think it’s an idea worthy of discussion, please add your name and share to as many people as possible.

https://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/resetthedebt

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Recession proof


It’s no secret that the car industry has taken a bit of a hammering in this recession. Understandably, consumers are holding onto any money they might have in case the worst happens on the job front. There are those, however, who do have a bit of disposable income to splash about. So how do we convince them to spend it with us? Tackle the recession head on. If you’re going to buy a car in a recession, you should at least consider one that’s recession proof. Here’s one I did for VW.

Credits:

Agency: DDB Dublin

Creative Director: Declan Hogan

Concept: David Milligan-Croft

Copywriter: David Milligan-Croft

Art Director: David Milligan-Croft

Client: MDL Ireland

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